X

Cookies

Continue We want you to get the most out of using this website, which is why we and our partners use cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to receive these cookies. You can find out more about how we use cookies here.

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Subscriptions  |  evouchers  |  Jobs  |  Property  |  Motors  |  Travel  |  Dating  |  Family Notices

Opinion & columns

Time to give this pally banter in schools idea a Miss

She was tall, thin, beautifully dressed, with a look of Wallis Simpson about her and, my goodness, she was fierce.

Last updated 16 May 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Bahamas island? Blencathra? It’s too much trouble

He was perhaps a tad too excited to have remembered the detail entirely accurately – but he obviously meant well.

Last updated 9 May 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Looking forward to gardening and growing old and silly

Brace yourselves – the gardening gloves are coming out. May has arrived and with it comes the cue for getting down and dirty in beds and borders. That’s the law of fair weather horticulturists.

Last updated 2 May 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Blob! Blazer Boy! Grow up and stop acting like children

Back to school week. You’ll have noticed the change. Truculence, pent up annoyance, dark scowls and bitter complaints about getting up early, arriving home late, being told what to do... and that’s just the teachers.

Last updated 25 April 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Our princely friend helps us to realise we are special

Always good to have friends in high places. Even better to be on matey terms with the kind of chums who don’t mind stepping down in the world to drop in on our more humble abodes on occasion.

Last updated 11 April 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

All this faffing about is making me feel really hungry

Quiet please, I’m counting. Two lettuce leaves, one portion of chips, cauliflower cheese – does that qualify? – and a strawberry jam doughnut.

Last updated 4 April 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Keep your balance over clocks and inclement weather

Spring forward, fall back – that’s the way to do it. Unless, of course, you tend to fall forward after overdoing a spring fling, in which case you’re in deep trouble and won’t care what time it is anyway.

Last updated 28 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

This coin will bring back memories - if you’re old enough

It was a Methuselah moment. Eyes around the table glazed over in that lights-are-on-but-nobody’s-home fashion; vacancy blanked every face in the room. Then...

Last updated 21 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Pity the monolithic monument to tasteless 1960s

Civic Centre abseil photo It happens to every old girl eventually. Remembering how once she was pretty and shiny and fetchingly fresh-faced, she must face the truth painfully in middle age... she’s a blot on the landscape.

Last updated 14 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

It's true, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone

It shouldn’t be difficult to flirt again with a little more of what you used to fancy – the stuff that used to do you good. In theory, it should be a mere matter of reclamation. Lemon bon-bons, sherbet dips, stringy twigs of liquorice, a smoke on the top deck of the last bus home...

Last updated 7 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Why it never pays to laugh in the face of the law

Somebody I once knew has been up before the beak. He’s up for nothing much at all at the moment – he being under nighttime curfew, electronically tagged and deeply in the doghouse with his missus.

Last updated 28 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I’m sticking at 37, where I can be blase about age

You know you’re getting old when you watch a noisy, boozy Brit Awards night on TV and wonder crossly whether an Arctic Monkey’s behaviour will be punished by his mother when he gets home.

Last updated 21 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

What’s happened to the love-in that was Cumbria Day?

Complicated business, this romance malarkey. Messy too, unless you know how to keep your wits about you.

Last updated 14 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I stopped a test match without need to strip off

There’s a man somewhere who is collecting football stadia the way Copeland folks are said to be collecting calories. He’s visiting as many as he can in his allotted lifetime, which appears to impress football fans hugely. Me, less so – which is probably why I can neither recall his name nor remember where he’s from.

Last updated 7 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

They should not be allowed to get away Scot free

Can’t say I’m entirely up to speed with this Scottish independence thing. Referendum rows are beginning to feel like a party to which nobody thought to invite me.

Last updated 1 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Scamology... the science of making money smartly

The findings of some fascinating scientific research were released this week – the like of which we haven’t seen since Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in his bread bin.

Last updated 24 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

When cool-headed logic beats passion hands down

I remember passion. It used to get me into all kinds of trouble. But I was younger and sillier and given to displays of feet-stamping tantrums then... weren’t we all?

Last updated 17 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Oh sugar! Something else to start feeling guilty about

Putting the cat among shame-faced pigeons, a health conscious harbinger of doom has given us something else to add to our weighty guilt-trip list. (2 comments)

Last updated 10 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Taking the plunge is not my idea of a hangover cure

By my reckoning, 2014 starts in earnest on Monday – which is January 6 in old money – because until the first full working week of the year starts, nobody can be expected to know what day it is.

Last updated 3 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Here’s to an imperfect Oopsy Daisy Christmas

He wasn’t fooling me. Though he laughed scornfully, he was as proud as Punch – his little girl was making her stage debut.

Last updated 20 December 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Page

Vote

Do we take enough pride in our parks?

Yes

No

Show Result

Hot jobs
Search for: