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Friday, 25 April 2014

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Opinion & columns

Decisions decisions. Failed TV wannabes... or a camel?

You think you’ve got problems and then, from nowhere, comes an illuminating, distracting perspective.

Last updated 1 November 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Bite-size method of coping gives food for thought

When my mum had breast cancer – must be six or seven years ago now – we said we would one day look back on it and laugh.

Last updated 25 October 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Thought of Desmond Tutu in Dalston Co-op cheers me up

Not much to smile about this week. Strikes and shouty protests, schools closed, parents cross, hundreds more horrid job losses afoot in poor old battered Cumbria.

Last updated 18 October 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I miss Steve’s kisses on the bottom (it’s not what you think)

Anybody here know what happened to Steve? Take your time, have a big think. Somebody must know where he went.

Last updated 4 October 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I’ll pick and choose which animals I want to be saved

Funny business, this badger thing. To cull or not to cull, that’s the question – but where the devil is the answer?

Last updated 30 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Fear not students, everything comes good in the end

A is for August, A-levels and All-together now... Jump! Not me, of course. I’m not into jumping. Never was.

Last updated 16 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Oh lord, there’s a noticeable thrift in spending plans

Not many government edicts can send me searching for my darning mushroom. But on this occasion...

Last updated 9 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Don’t look here for fracking desolation, Lord Howell

All that expensive education; all that privileged, Eton and Cambridge tutoring ... and so little understanding. (2 comments)

Last updated 2 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Don’t whistle while you work - I can’t stand it

There is, by all accounts, a milkman in Leicester who is far too happy for his own good. Leicester is a long way from here, granted. But the moral of his sorry tale of a working life blighted by disciplinary sanction travels well.

Last updated 19 July 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

The old advice may be baffling, but it served me well

Listless. Restless. You know the feeling – a warm night with not a breath of breeze through wide open windows and sleep won’t come.

Last updated 12 July 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

What television needs most is a Cumbrian soap opera

That young woman – the lippy barmaid who can’t decide whether to give her baby away and who’s on the cusp of a fling with her psycho neighbour, whose wife is pregnant with his brother’s child, a secret his meddling mother (whom he once tried to kill) thinks she’s kept from him – you know the one?

Last updated 5 July 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

School was never this expensive, and it was boring

We didn’t do Proms when I was a schoolgirl. We didn’t do much at all beyond dabbing our squeezed blackheads with Clearasil and snipping at each other’s split ends at break times.

Last updated 28 June 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I can’t hold my breath for long enough to go naked

I like to think there’s a touch of rebellion in all of us. Nothing too wicked, you understand... just a slender slither of occasional deliberate disobedience.

Last updated 21 June 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I'll join broadband party when my phone works

Unbeatable as it undoubtedly is, living in Cumbria is not without its challenges. I make the assertion advisedly – having spent a large part of an otherwise pleasant evening, hanging precariously from a front bedroom window trying to send an important email on what’s laughingly referred to as my smart phone.

Last updated 14 June 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I'll join the broadband party when my phone works

Unbeatable as it undoubtedly is, living in Cumbria is not without its challenges.

Last updated 14 June 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I welcome the sun’s return but I’ll be missing Gerald

Cumberland Show weekend and – whisper it ever so quietly with breath that is bated – it’s looking like the sun might shine.

Last updated 7 June 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Route 66 now runs all way from Yorkshire to Cumbria

We did Carlisle Music City. By accident. In the rain. And that was when the penny dropped with a decisive clatter.

Last updated 31 May 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I’d rather have a yoghurt than a commissioner

The week started on a silly note – which is always fun. A giggly little interlude brought about by a generously offered choice that was actually no choice at all.

Last updated 24 May 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I’d rather have a yoghurt than a police commissioner

The week started on a silly note – which is always fun. A giggly little interlude brought about by a generously offered choice that was actually no choice at all.

Last updated 24 May 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

This language barrier needs fixed before I trip again

Words are tricky little blighters. You learn that early in this line of work. They’re forever lying in wait to ambush the unsuspecting – or should that be for ever? See? Fiendish devils, words.

Last updated 10 May 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

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