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Wednesday, 30 July 2014

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Opinion & columns

I’m sticking at 37, where I can be blase about age

You know you’re getting old when you watch a noisy, boozy Brit Awards night on TV and wonder crossly whether an Arctic Monkey’s behaviour will be punished by his mother when he gets home.

Last updated 21 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

What’s happened to the love-in that was Cumbria Day?

Complicated business, this romance malarkey. Messy too, unless you know how to keep your wits about you.

Last updated 14 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I stopped a test match without need to strip off

There’s a man somewhere who is collecting football stadia the way Copeland folks are said to be collecting calories. He’s visiting as many as he can in his allotted lifetime, which appears to impress football fans hugely. Me, less so – which is probably why I can neither recall his name nor remember where he’s from.

Last updated 7 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

They should not be allowed to get away Scot free

Can’t say I’m entirely up to speed with this Scottish independence thing. Referendum rows are beginning to feel like a party to which nobody thought to invite me.

Last updated 1 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Scamology... the science of making money smartly

The findings of some fascinating scientific research were released this week – the like of which we haven’t seen since Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in his bread bin.

Last updated 24 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

When cool-headed logic beats passion hands down

I remember passion. It used to get me into all kinds of trouble. But I was younger and sillier and given to displays of feet-stamping tantrums then... weren’t we all?

Last updated 17 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Oh sugar! Something else to start feeling guilty about

Putting the cat among shame-faced pigeons, a health conscious harbinger of doom has given us something else to add to our weighty guilt-trip list. (2 comments)

Last updated 10 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Taking the plunge is not my idea of a hangover cure

By my reckoning, 2014 starts in earnest on Monday – which is January 6 in old money – because until the first full working week of the year starts, nobody can be expected to know what day it is.

Last updated 3 January 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Here’s to an imperfect Oopsy Daisy Christmas

He wasn’t fooling me. Though he laughed scornfully, he was as proud as Punch – his little girl was making her stage debut.

Last updated 20 December 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

‘Just like the onesie I used to know...’

We’re right in the thick of it now. No winter wonderland yet but the season of goodwill and bad tempers is definitely upon us.

Last updated 13 December 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Being flawed no reason not to be outed as fabulous

Margaret Harrison  photo It has been a big week for women of substance. Even as a man, you’d have to admit that. This week, girls have been on top (and I do hope you’ll pardon the expression). They’ve been positioned precisely where great girls always should be.

Last updated 29 November 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Cumbria, you’re great in doing what was right and you’ve done what’s right

Let’s talk about you and me. Or about you, anyway – and the me I hope one day to be. No, I’m not playing for laughs. Not this week. This isn’t a time for smirks and sniggers. Together we’ve reached a cards-on-the-table point. And it’s no laughing matter, when that juncture arrives.

Last updated 16 November 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

A codless town but groomed to within an inch of life

I could quite fancy a fishmonger, since you’ve been kind enough to ask. No, not in that way. Do please get a grip. You know very well I’d always demur from being so crude.

Last updated 8 November 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Decisions decisions. Failed TV wannabes... or a camel?

You think you’ve got problems and then, from nowhere, comes an illuminating, distracting perspective.

Last updated 1 November 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Bite-size method of coping gives food for thought

When my mum had breast cancer – must be six or seven years ago now – we said we would one day look back on it and laugh.

Last updated 25 October 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Thought of Desmond Tutu in Dalston Co-op cheers me up

Not much to smile about this week. Strikes and shouty protests, schools closed, parents cross, hundreds more horrid job losses afoot in poor old battered Cumbria.

Last updated 18 October 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I miss Steve’s kisses on the bottom (it’s not what you think)

Anybody here know what happened to Steve? Take your time, have a big think. Somebody must know where he went.

Last updated 4 October 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I’ll pick and choose which animals I want to be saved

Funny business, this badger thing. To cull or not to cull, that’s the question – but where the devil is the answer?

Last updated 30 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Fear not students, everything comes good in the end

A is for August, A-levels and All-together now... Jump! Not me, of course. I’m not into jumping. Never was.

Last updated 16 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Oh lord, there’s a noticeable thrift in spending plans

Not many government edicts can send me searching for my darning mushroom. But on this occasion...

Last updated 9 August 2013
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

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