June 23, 2017 13:54
Feeling and no doubt looking gormless - an unfortunate default expression these days - I asked for help while tackling the big supermarket shop in Carlisle.
June 02, 2017 12:51
By this time next week it will be all over bar the shouting, acrimony, bitter separation and bleary-eyed victory/defeat hangovers. So, pretty much as we were then.
May 26, 2017 12:36
If you had to build a kid from scratch; you know, construct one from basic elements of childishness, where would you start?
May 19, 2017 12:47
It was one of the most thrilling evenings of my largely misspent youth. A romantic liaison with a new boyfriend. We were eating chips and canoodling while sitting on a low wall.
May 13, 2017 10:09
Love at first sight? Easy, I can do that - which is probably one of the few things I have in common with Prime Minister Theresa May.
April 28, 2017 16:09
Let’s talk about sex. We might as well, everybody else seems to be chattering on about it feverishly. Sex and fish fingers.
April 21, 2017 11:00
It’s all such a rush, don’t you find? An impatient, mind-scrambling race into long anticipated lazy, hazy days of barbecues, burgeoning blooms and beer gardens.
April 14, 2017 10:00
One has to suppose a man would do - this being an age of employment gender equality - but a chap with delicate size 4s might be harder to find. No offence intended.
April 07, 2017 12:00
There are easier ways to work up a bad temper, more serious matters over which to sink into a simmering sulk. But when someone messes with your Easter eggs, well…
March 31, 2017 12:00
Funny old week. All about women’s legs. And a letter. The kind that used to be known as a “Dear John” note.
March 24, 2017 12:00
Everybody laughed - or at least snickered a bit - when that really clever politics expert came a cropper during a BBC World interview on his specialist subject of South Korea. Remember that?
March 19, 2017 09:00
It’s a perilous business, opening your mouth to speak. Talk out of turn and you could find yourself swept up into a storm of untold unpleasantness.
March 10, 2017 12:00
In most respects, it was an unremarkable day. Year by year, International Women’s Day usually is. When you’re a woman.
March 06, 2017 09:45
There’s always one - or in this case, two - ready and able to top your best, most exciting ideas with bigger, better, more glamorous plans. Show-offs, I call them.
February 10, 2017 17:27
One supposes that once the dust has settled on a fabulously funny blunder we can all stop guffawing, stifle our giggling and get a sensible grip… right?
January 20, 2017 12:38
What is it like to have had no children? I don’t know. Never having given birth, I have nothing with which to make a comparison.
August 26, 2016 15:41
Love and marriage, according to the old song, go together like a horse and carriage - which isn’t at all romantic, if you take time to pause and think about it.
August 19, 2016 14:58
I suppose I must have read it at some point in my childhood. I was, after all, a classically nerdy bookworm. But, to be honest, I have little or no recollection of Swallows and Amazons.
July 01, 2016 00:00
But while there’s moonlight and music and love and romance… No? None of those? Music, then - there’s always music. And rain. And sausage. And chips.
June 24, 2016 12:17
You realise you’re getting old when you know Stone Roses and Rod Stewart are playing in Carlisle and you really don’t give a damn.